Shaq Fu

Rating: D

There are evil forces in America that will try to sell you anything, and these evil forces understand the public's fascination with sports heroes and celebrities, and so take a sports hero and a video game and shouldn't that be a winning combination?

Listen: this game is simply retarded. A basketball player does not a martial artist make. At first glance you might think this game is pretty cool; after all, the graphics are very well done and the animation is very fluid. But when you realize that you have a total of three moves--punch, kick, jump--and that you can defeat any evil kung fu master just by endlessly jump kicking across the screen and bouncing like a pogo stick, you realize this is not going to be a very deep fighting game. But, yeah, the graphics are pretty good so this game doesn't suck as bad as it possibly could. And then you remember that it's about a basketball hero who just happens to be a world-class martial artist, and that that martial artist is none other than Shaquille O'Neil. And then you realize that you have too much free time on your hands, and that maybe you're playing this cart because you're really desperate to be entertained, and then you realize you were having more fun with Bimini Run, which you go back to. OK, to be fair, this game isn't nearly as bad as Bimini Run but it's still pretty pathetic. Recommended only for those who enjoy a nice steaming pile of crap.

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