Stormlord


Rating: C-


At first glance, this game seems a lot more exciting than it actually is. Half-naked fairies? And what's up with the title screen? Is that a 4-foot woman clinging to his leg or a little girl? Very strange. Or maybe he's supposed to be some kind of Nordic giant? I'm not quite sure.

Anyhow, this game isn't so much an action game as it is a puzzle-solving adventure. The enemies are not many, and they're rather slow, and the magic balls--or whatever the crap is that you're shooting in this game--that you lob at your opponents are pretty lame. But that's OK, because what you'll find yourself doing more than fighting is looking for keys that open doors and making percise jumps over bottomless pits. Or if you're like me, you'll just spend time ogling at the bikini-clad fairies.

The half-naked fairies: shamefully, the bare boobies were covered up with bikini tops for a prudish Western audience. For that reason, I'd like to get my hands on the Japanese version, because, in my opinion, there just aren't enough naked women in video games. Meanwhile, you can reduce your opponent to a pile of bloody chunks ala Quake III, but God forbid you should see an ariola, or buttcheeks.

Because of all the skin I'll give Stormlord a few more points than it otherwise deserves. And isn't that what the designers were hoping for?


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